Robot Fighting Sports - Steeldriven - P. A. Nolte

1/ It's the turn of the century in the seedier part of a crime-ridden city.  Down a dark alley where the cobbles are worn slick is a stone arch set with a thick wooden door.  In front of it stands a small figure who, from behind, looks like any one of the nameless poor living among the Maschinnemen in the years since their arrival. There is an unreadable poster on the wall. From the other side of the door booms a metal voice.

Bouncer (OP): Password?

2/ Filling the bottom 3/4ths of the page is the poster. Now easily read.  On the left, a wiry man with thick muttonchops throws a victorious arm into the air.  He is somewhere between smiling relievedly and shouting boastfully.  On the right is what looks to be a steam engine given a rough humanoid shape.  It has no discernible emotions.  Under the two are a brief tag, the fighters' names, and other details common to promotional materials:  The Duel for The Docks!!! Heinrich Johannes vs. Locomotor!!!

Heinrich (OP): I dinnae ken.  I'm here ta fight the robit.

Robot Fight Sports--Something in a Club--David Press.

We'll cut forward into the fight sequence.

1.1: DJ sets his robot down. DJ’s robot looks like a collection of NANOBOT DRONES, taking the shape of a small baby. The Nanobot Baby Drone has a fog like structure—in the sense that there shouldn’t be tendons or anything that connect its individual parts, but it has arms, legs, chest and head, and floats around like fog.

            Across from DJ’s bot is ANDERS—who looks like the Android phone software character. You know this guy: /profile_images/616076655547682816/6gMRtQyY.webp

NO DIALOGUE.

1.2 Half-size: The fight commences! Anders strikes first with his Electro-wand, but DJ’s Fog Drone disperses itself.

NO DIALOGUE.

1.3 Same: FOG DRONE flies like a horde of BEES into the open chest cavity of Anders.

NO DIALOGUE.

1.4: Anders looks full and its head has exclamation marks for eyes in the sense that it seems to be panicking. Let’s tease this one a little to the left, so we can see Anders’s human PILOT kind of panicking and pressing buttons on his remote. The pilot should wear a similar expression to Anders.

PILOT:                                    Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no.

1.5: Anders EXPLODES in a shower of Fog Drones. Let’s tease to the left now and we can see DJ super-happy that he won.

SFX:                                       BOOM!

--END--

Robot Fighting Sports - A Mightier Weapon - Perry Kent

Panel 1

Two humanoid robots, R-Turo and Renderer, are facing off with bastard swords inside of a gladiatorial pit. R-Turo holds his sword in one hand poised to strike. Renderer, a wider robot, grips his sword to the side like he might swing it They are focused on each other with strict concentration. Elevated around the pit are stands of cheering people.

1. SFX: DING!

2. ANNOUNCER (op): So begins the duel. Two new-comers squaring off tonight.

3. ANNOUNCER (op): Of course, only one will leave. Will it be skillful R-Turo or brutish Renderer!

Panel 2

R-Turo thrusts the very tip of his sword into Renderer. Renderer drops his sword out of surprise.

4. ANNOUNCER (op): Ooh! R-Turo lands what could be a finishing blow.

Panel 3

Renderer grabs the blade of R-Turo's sword. R-Turo looks confused.

5. ANNOUNCER (op): But remember, sports fans...

Panel 4

Renderer has pulled R-Turo's sword all the way in and through himself. R-Turo still holds the blade and looks panicked by the other robot's actions. The two now stand face-to-face, in arm's reach.

6. ANNOUNCER (op): ...what would be fatal to a human...

Panel 5

Renderer grabs onto R-Turo's arms, the metal of R-Turo's arms bending around Renderer's fingers. Renderer has a savaged look on his face.

7. ANNOUNCER (op): ...can really just be an annoyance to these brutes.

Panel 6

Renderer tears off R-Turo's arms in a shower of sparks and oil, lofting them overhead.

8. ANNOUNCER (op): And they don't call him brutish for nothing!

- END -

Robot Fighting Sports - Fight Night - Grant McLaughlin

1 - Robert and Margaret are two solid-looking robots in 1950s-style dress and 1950s style kitchen.  Robert has some slacks, white dress shirt, and a sleeveless sweatervest-type thing on; Margaret has a stylish looking dress, with a belt across where her waist would be (but let's be honest, their models aren't super different and beyond some hilariously mismatched wigs and their clothing, telling their "gender" would probably be pretty difficult).  Margaret stands beside Robert, her hands on his shoulders as she pleads with him.

ROBERT: Margaret...

MARGARET (1): You know I can't bear to watch you in that ring.

MARGARET (2): Those fights are wild.

MARGARET (3): Oil baths, at best.

2 - Robert turns to face Margaret, putting one hand on her shoulder and the other to her eye to wipe away tears (that aren't there, because she's a robot, although she does look sad).

ROBERT: It won't be like that tonight.

MARGARET (1): It better not be.  I don't know that I can repair you again.

MARGARET (2) (quietly): You've only just been fixed after that last fight...

3 - Switch angle to show a little baby robot (Jack) sitting in a high chair at the kitchen table.  He's playing with a toy assembly line robot arm (like so).

MARGARET: Besides, you know we have more than just ourselves to think about.

JACK (quietly): 0100...

4 - Margaret has picked up Jack and holds him, a melancholic look on her face.  Robert puts one arm around Margaret and uses the other to "ruffle" Jack's "hair" (not that he has any as a robot).

MARGARET: I don't want little Jack to grow up without a father.

ROBERT (1): He won't.

ROBERT (2): That's a promise.

5 - Switch scenes to the big fight.  We're look at a boxing ring in a big arena, Robert on one side (now wearing classic red boxing shorts) and the blue Rock 'Em Sock 'Em robot on the other.  Blue has landed the finishing punch, popping Robert's head off in classic Rock 'Em Sock 'Em style.  If it fits, have Margaret sitting in the crowd holding Jack and covering his eyes with one hand.

ROBERT: dang

Robot Fighting Sports – Metalhead – MK Stangeland, Jr.

(8 Panels)

Panel 1: YARQAD - the alien manager of a futuristic underground bot-fighting pit – and KILLROY – one of his employees – are in the bot pits talking with alias “METALHEAD”, a cyborg, who is trying to enter ‘himself’ into a competition.

Panel 1: YARQAD is confused by the situation.

YARQAD (1): What is this nonsense?

YARQAD (2): You tryin’ to tell me you’re entering yourself?

METALHEAD: Exactly

YARQAD (3): How that even work?

Panel 2: METALHEAD explaining himself.

METALHEAD (1): Simple.

METALHEAD (2): I step into the ring and fight whatever bot you throw at me myself.

Panel 3: YARQAD doesn’t get it.

YARQAD (1): You crazy?

YARQAD (2): We may not exactly be a legal establishment here, but even we got standards and rules.

YARQAD (3): You have any idea what kind of fights go on in there?

YARQAD (4): We’re talking fine-tuned killing machines, here.

Panel 4: METALHEAD and KILLROY; KILLROY is tapping METALHEAD on his robotic arm.

METALHEAD (1): Yeah, I got that.

KILLROY (1): Question – just how much of you is metal, anyhow?

METALHEAD (2): Why, what’s it to you?

KILLROY (2): You want a shot or not?

METALHEAD (3): …

METALHEAD (4): I’d guesstimate roughly half, give or take.

Panel 5: KILLROY has pulled YARQAD aside, and is trying to sell him on the idea.

KILLROY (1): You know, boss, over 50% could put him in the same fuzzy grey area as one of those wild safari showdowns.

KILLROY (2): Can you imagine the kind of crowd you could advertise with that kind of showdown?

Panel 6: Small panel as the idea goes through YARQAD’s head.

Panel 7: Small panel, effectively the second half of PANEL 6 – A conniving grin finds its way onto YARQAD’s face.

Panel 8: YARQAD and KILLROY turn back toward METALHEAD. YARQAD is looking far more receptive to the idea.

YARQAD (1): Well…

YARQAD (2): …I suppose we’re not exactly a legal establishment anyhow…

(END PAGE)

Why Robot Fighting Sports?

“It’s ROBOT FIGHTIN’ TIME!”

Either in US... 

...or UK flavor.

The short answer, when you get right down to it, is “Because I’ve been having a hoot watching the ABC revival of Battlebots, and I think I might be about ready to call it both my favorite TV show and my favorite sport.”

It wouldn’t be entirely accurate to say that it’s a comeback of any sort, because robots fighting other robots as a form of entertainment has never really gone away, not entirely. Ever since people first figured out they could make Rock-em-Sock-em robots a real thing – but better! – robot fighting has continued to be a thing, even when it’s mostly just an underground scene. And then there’s the various momentary sparks in recognition, such as Real Steel, it’s real-life counterpart Robot Combat League, and even a brief moment at the start of Big Hero 6.

Robot Fighting may never be as big as your classic sports like Baseball or Basketball or Football (of either variety), But what’s not to love about watching two machines of death tear at each other in a display of metallic mayhem? The pageantry of wrestling, the violence of the Colosseum but without any of the concerns that comes from actual blood sport, the brilliant displays of scientific engineering that bring it all together.

It may prove to be the key piece of evidence that dooms humanity when the robots rise up and need something to point to as proof of mankind’s cruelty toward machines, but dang if it’s not worth enjoying until then.